A sickness within

Mortal confines;

A body abused

Too many times;

An illness that spreads

From one’s own mind,

Nausea induced

To death inclined;

Vomit the soul,


Let the mind die.


Author’s Note:

A hangover is no fun.  On top of this, I’m sick of everything.  An extreme feeling of nausea came over me that made me want to vomit not only my stomach’s contents, but all of my insides out as well.  At that moment, I lost my appetite for everything, including life.  It happens.  We all feel sick for one reason or another, and we all get sick of something.  I’m currently facing a steep decline in work, and that will result in a pretty lousy income for this next month.  I’m sick of this job, and barely getting by.  I’m sick of doubting myself and letting life pass me by.  Overcoming these things aren’t easy, especially with past wounds.  I’ve recently opened up and shared a glimpse into my past that still haunts me today, leaving a tender spot vulnerable in the hopes that I can begin to heal.  Perhaps in time I will, and I can finally start making progress in life.  This dark hole of sickness won’t disappear on its own, but it’s my hole and mine alone.

Is there anything that’s making you feel sick?



Despair sits upon my head like that of a crown on a king, casting a veil before my eyes that filter out the colors of life.

Desolation hangs around my neck, with one firm hand that reaches into my chest, holding my still beating heart in its cold grip.

A billowing cape of loneliness envelopes me like a smothering blanket that gives no comfort, but only suffocation.

From a dark abyss extend the chains of doubt that are shackled around my feet, anchoring me in place with the inability to move.

Seated on a throne of failure atop the highest peak of the highest mountain, surrounded by barren lands, my kingdom of emptiness.

Frostbitten winds whip at my naked body as the bitter cold bites into the marrow of my bones and the depths of my soul.

The pain has faded long ago, leaving a dull ache of numbness that flows through my veins, as I pray for death to come.

“Come O Death, and spare me from the curse of my existence.  Take my lands, and fill them with the dead. Let the rivers run red with blood once again.  Release me from this meaningless life!”

Death appears beside me as a shapeless shadow, placing one hand on my shoulder as it leans down to whisper in my ear.



Author’s Note:

I really don’t know what to say tonight.  Maybe this piece is thought-provoking, maybe it’s cheesy.  Obviously, the kingdom isn’t an actual physical land, but rather symbolic.  The message is pretty straightforward, in a way.  We’ve all been there, hitting one low after another until it feels like rock bottom.  Only then to find out, there’s more falling to be done.  Some of us want to be released from this life, which can seem like a curse at times.  It’s the easy way out, sometimes seeming the only way out.

Is it possible to cast off the crown of despair?  Remove the pendant of desolation?  Tear away the cape of loneliness?  Break free from the chains of doubt?  Rise from a throne of failure?  The answer is something we all find in our time.  Or maybe, we’re just meant to live a tormented life of a miserable existence.  You decide.



Waiting for the day that won’t come

Waiting for the light of a dead sun

Waiting for the warmth of your cold embrace

Hold me tight so I can’t see your face


Don’t let go


Waiting for a moment that doesn’t exist

Waiting for the sands of time to desist

From falling ever on into eternity

Lost in the peaceful bliss of misery


Don’t let go


Waiting for the sweet sound of your silent voice

To tell me that I have no other choice

I’m no master of this fantasy

And I have no place in reality

I’ve lost all control

Don’t let me go


Waiting for you to tell me it’s alright

To let me know I can sleep tonight

Waiting for you to tear me apart

Devour my hope and silence my heart

And still I wait

I won’t let go


Author’s Note:

There’s not much to say today.


There is no warmth here.


No refuge, or sanctuary.


There is no hope.


No fighting the storm.


There is no love here.


No companionship.


There is no escape

From this…


Author’s Note:

A simple short piece.


The Forest

The forest is cold.  

The sun does not shine brightly here, it’s cold light only creates the shadows.  Shadows that dance wickedly upon the forest floor, and up the trees.  The sun gives off no warmth, no warmth I can feel.  This cold is a dead cold, it pierces me and freezes my soul.  There is no escape, from this unforgiving cold.

The forest is quiet.

There is no rustling of leaves, no cracking of twigs or branches in the distance.  The only sound I hear is that of my raspy breath.  Each step I take is in utter silence.  with each footfall, I feel the leaves break beneath my feet.  But the sound does not carry.  It is absent.  There is no escape from this tormenting silence.

The forest is dead.

Devoid of all life, save mine.   But, my time is short, and soon I will fade into nothing.  The trees are withered and petrified.  Though nothing grows, the leaves still fall endlessly.  Leaves and ash.  The ground is like rust, and the trees dull and grey.  There is no hope here, only death.  There is no escape from this dark forest.


Searching in vain for an escape, as my time runs out.  The forest is a maze of twisted trees, shadows, and death.  Eyes stare from the darkness, yellow and hungry.  They are unliving, unblinking.  They stalk me, watching.  They cannot come near until my last breath leaves my body.  I feel the life escaping my body slowly, as I fade away in the forest. 


Without hope, without reason or motivation, I stop searching.  I am tired.  I come to a clearing and look up at the sky.  The sky is dark red, and filled with ash.  The sun’s rays shine down on me, but they are cold.  There is no warmth.  I feel nothing.  My body starts to fade, the shadows growing, moving closer.  The eyes follow, ready to devour me.


A voice pierces the silent cold air.  A voice so beautiful, it brings me warmth.  Like a kindled flame inside of my heart, hope comes back to me.  Rising up, the shadows retreat, and the eyes disappear.  The voice grows louder, singing, the song melancholy.  I must find the one who sings this song.  I move again, searching with reason, with newfound motivation.


As I make my way through the tangled maze of trees, my body aches.   My limbs are numb from the cold, but my heart is warm.  The fire inside grows as I get closer.  I cannot understand the words, yet the song is hypnotic, drawing me in, both beautiful and sad.  The voice so sweet, is indescribable.  It is like cool water to my parched throat.


In the distance, I see a bright white light.  The trees form a tunnel, the shadows darkest here.  The eyes return.  Thousands staring out at me.  This is the final path, with the light at the end.  I start forward, slowly at first.  That’s when I hear the whispers.  They tell me to walk into the shadow, to look away from the light. I feel myself being pulled into the darkness.


I make my way towards the light, without looking away.  My body is tired, exhausted.  But the fire inside burns, and keeps me going.  I feel the lurking beasts reach out and try to grab me, tearing my flesh.  The song is deafening now, and pulls me forward.  Tears stream down my face, from the pain, the exertion.  I cannot stop now, I must carry on.


It’s what’s keeping me going.  The light grows and grows, until I’m surrounded by it.  The shadows and beasts are far behind.  Ahead there is a fog, the source of the song just beyond.  The light spills out, blinding me.  My body is broken, but I will not stop.  I must leave this place.  Without looking back, I step through the fog, and escape this wretched forest.


Beyond the fog, there is darkness.  Where is the light?  The song has stopped and I no longer hear her voice.  The warmth is gone.   Instead, there is a cold empty void.  Exhausted, and tired, I drop to my knees.  The ground cracks audibly.  My hope is all but gone, when I see a faint glow in the distance ahead.  It grows as it approaches, casting a pale light on the ground ahead of me.  


The pale light reveals a sea of death, the skeletal remains of the unfortunate souls who ventured here before me.  The dead trees are also here.  I am still in this forest, and there is only death.  A feeling of sickness overcomes me as I look up at the approaching glow.  It is a woman, with her head down.  Walking towards me, the glow emits from her beautiful naked body.  What little hope I had left flees as she looks up at me.  Her eyes!  Her eyes are gone!


Instead of eyes, there are two black pits so dark, they swallow the darkness around.  The glow she emits is sucked into the voids where her eyes should be.  Those pits gaze into my soul, and I cannot look away, I cannot move.  I try to scream, but no sound comes out.  She stands in front of me, still staring, smiling.  Helpless, I cannot stop her when she reaches out with both hands to my face, and pulls out my eyes.  


The darkness is infinite now.  I can feel my blood trickle down my face, cold like a stream of ice.  Still paralyzed, I hear her laugh.  It is a soft chuckle, that sounds like thunder inside my head.  The ground below me shifts, as I am pulled down, the flesh being torn from my body.  I cannot see, cannot move.  But I can scream now.  The pain is excruciating, and I scream until only hoarse groans escape me.  Her laughter fades away, and all is quiet again.


The forest is dark.  It is unforgiving, and cruel.  There is only death here.  Hope?  It has fled.  Warmth?  An illusion  Love?  A lie.  These do not exist here.  As my pain turns into numbness, I feel myself slipping away, into the void.   There is but one escape from this forest.


I could not see it before, but it is the only way out.  I laugh, as my last breath leaves my body, the irony of my attempt to escape. There is no escape from death.  Death is the escape.  With death, the pain is gone.  The forest is gone.  I slip away into nothingness, and leave the forest behind.  I smile as death takes me.  

The forest is cold.

I wake suddenly, as if from a dream.  How did I get here?  I cannot remember.  Where is here?  I look around.  The sky is a dark red, and the light cold.  The cold is unforgiving.

The forest is quiet.

The trees are dead, with leaves and ash that fall endlessly.  The only sound I hear is that of my own breathing.  Everything else is silent.  The silence is tormenting.

The forest is dead.

I am surrounded by the dull, grey trees.  Darkness engulfs them, and reaches out to me.  There is no hope here.  Even death cannot escape this forest.

Author’s Note:

I wrote this about 2 and a half years ago.  Originally, it ended with entering the light.  It didn’t sit right with me, so the next day I added the second half.  It’s been tweaked a few times, and will likely be tweaked a few more.  What do you think?

I’ve been quite busy in these last few weeks, so my posts have been less frequent.  I hope to continue to post regularly, but chances are it won’t be at often as I’d like.

Lastly, I’d like to wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving!  It’s a bit late, but we should always be thankful for what we do have.


%d bloggers like this: