Suicide

Sitting here and thinking of you

Wishing there was more I can do

I pour myself another glass

Trying to forget the memories past

I’m on the edge looking down

Tired of running ‘round and ‘round

One small step is all I need

To end the pain and be set free

Feeling like there’s no other choice

Feeling like no one hears my voice

I close my eyes and feel the trigger

This hole I have can’t get any bigger

As the cold metal touches my head

There passes over me a sense of dread

With a deep breath I hesitate

Knowing everything is at stake.

Sitting here and thinking of you

Death my friend, I can’t come through

Not at this time

The decision is mine

I will be with you someday

But not this day

I have my life to live

It’s not yours to give

Not by my hand

I make this stand

I will be with you someday

But it’s not this day.

---

Author’s Note:

I’ve made a few changes since originally writing this piece (roughly 3 months ago).  I wrote this one while drinking too.  I originally didn’t want this to end on a high note, and there may or may not be a version where it ends differently.  Maybe it’s out of character for me, maybe not.

This one is about making a stand.  Sometimes it feels like there’s nowhere left to go.  No one left to turn to.  Nothing left to give.  Is that really the end of the line?  No.  It feels like that, but it isn’t that.  We have the freedom to think for ourselves, to make choices, to live.  We can get back up after being knocked down.  Don’t throw that away, because there are some who would give anything to be in our place no matter how bad it may seem.  As bad as things get, and though it may continue to worsen, it will get better.  But only if an effort is made.  Only if you take a stand, in getting back up.  Remember, you are never alone.

N

Moonlight

A beacon in the darkened sky,

A guiding light in the midnight hour.

On this road I journey forth,

Standing tall as darkness cowers.

The moonlight shines its light so bright,

Piercing through the clouds above.

Illuminated path at night,

My back is turned to a land once loved.

I journey on through the hills and seas

I walk alone in the midnight breeze

Through darkened fields and forest trees

The pale moonlight guiding me.

A beacon in the darkened sky,

A guiding light in the midnight hour.

On this road I journey forth,

Standing tall as darkness cowers.

Journey’s end is growing near,

Approaching now a daunting tower.

Through its door I disappear,

And leave behind a world devoured.

I journey on through the hills and seas

I walk alone in the midnight breeze

Through darkened fields and forest trees

The pale moonlight guiding me.

---

Author’s Note:

I tried something different here.  What is it?  I don’t really know.  I just wanted something less depressing, and bit more “adventurous” in a sense.

What do you think?

N

The Ocean

The ocean calls to me:

 

“Forget the land behind you.

Forget the pain and misery.

Come to me,

And I’ll set you free.

Let me embrace you.

For you are that which I crave.

Come to me,

I’ll show you to your grave.”

 

The sound of her waves crashing against the shore draws me in.

I sit here and stare out at the dull grey sky, fighting this temptation.  Her pull is strong.  But I am stronger.

---

Author’s Note:

On some days, I’m tempted to give up.  To give in, and let myself drown.  It’s difficult at times, but I endure.  No one said life would be easy.  Take on one obstacle at a time instead of looking at them all with dread.  The day will come when you look back and realize, you scaled mountains.  And you will know the true strength that you had all along.

We all struggle, some more than others.  What do you do, or say to keep going, when you’re on the brink of giving up?

Feel free to comment below.

N