The Cuts on My Feet

Desolate is the land of which my bare feet traverse,

A dismal emptiness of which is my curse.

The paths that lie before me do not have an end,

Forever going onward as I descend.

 

I’ve lost my way, straying from the path I started on,

Drifting through a world that never sees the dawn.

A day that lasts forever trapped in its twilight,

With a lingering sun that burns through the night.

 

Stumbling in a wasteland where day and night don’t differ,

Hope has ceased its flow like a dusty river.

The dirt beneath me cuts like shards of broken glass,

Piercing my feet with a hurt that will not pass.

 

An endless desert of dirt and blood speaks only pain,

Is there an escape or am I to remain?

Wandering forever as I’m waiting to die,

Cursed to an existence of eternal strife.

 

The cuts on my feet continue to fester and bleed,

As my will to live continues to recede.

Questioning my existence and wondering why,

Is it worth going on, and living this life?

 

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Author’s Note:

Well, another piece with a cheesy rhyme scheme.  Why the rhymes?  I don’t know, it’s fun to do I guess.  That and using a few patterns.  It’s interesting to see the patterns in our lives, whether it’s our daily routine, a specific way of doing something, or a way we connect with each other.  Then, when it all falls apart, it becomes chaos.  But, there’s a pattern to that as well.  We don’t always see them, and sometimes it just takes a different view, or someone to point it out like those hidden images in another image.  Once we find it, we can spot it much easier whether it’s simple or extremely complex.  That’s enough of that for now, on to what I was going to say.

Have you ever wondered “What the hell am I doing?”

I’m pretty sure we all have at some point, and more than once.

How about, “Where am I going?”

Not in the physical sense of direction, of course, but in life.  The years go by in a blur, people come and go, the world changes around you, and you’re stuck in the same place with only scars to show.  No matter how hard you try, and what you do…  No matter how many steps you take in any direction, the glass just cuts into you again and again and again.  As you bleed out, you’re still searching, still going on, and what little hope you have of getting somewhere, or anywhere slowly drains.  Pain turns to numbness, and the thought of letting go becomes more inviting.

Yeah, sometimes it’s like that.

N

Update: October 3, 2018

This month will mark the 1 year anniversary since creating my blog, and I do have to admit that I didn’t expect to make it this far.  However, I am glad that I did.  I would like to share a little about my posting as well as a few things on the future of this blog.

I haven’t posted as much content this year as I had hoped to when I first started.  At that time, I had the goal of 1 – 2 posts a week.  As the demands of life continued to pull my attention away, so did my doubt and at times, my will.  With that, posting became less frequent.  It wasn’t so much not knowing what to write, but not finding the time to sit and do so.  Even when the time was there, stress occupied my mind and I was not able to calm the chaotic thoughts that ran through my head.  There were also many days where I just didn’t feel like it, as I had lost the will to do anything.  Doubt was also another factor, as I doubt myself far too much.  Doubt has killed many potential pieces, not only after they were written, but before I even started.  Because of this, I thought that perhaps I would eventually stop posting altogether and this blog would die.  That wasn’t the case, as I continued to write when able, and posted, however far apart they were.  Which brings us here.

I wish that I could say posting will be more frequent, but the reality is that it’ll likely be about the same as this past year.  Now, I’m not a great writer, and I don’t know if I’ll ever be even slightly good…  But writing helps me relieve a lot of stress, and express the things I would otherwise not know how to.  With that said, I will continue to write and post (hopefully more frequently in the future), so this blog is not going to die anytime soon!

 

Photos are another area I will be working on.  I am an amateur at best when it comes to photography.  I don’t own a nice camera, as I cannot afford one right now.  All the photos I have taken have been on my phone, and most of my posting has been done from it as well.  Once I can get some extra money, I may invest in a camera as well as a laptop, as typing on the phone can be tedious.  I never thought of myself as a photographer, and had never considered it.  Aside from shots of an interesting place or a nice view, I hadn’t considered taking photos to share with people or purely for the sake of capturing that image.  Sometimes the scene or the photos will inspire a writing piece, other times the piece will inspire a photo.  With that, my interest has sparked.  I hope to capture the feeling that my writing pieces invoke in the form of photos, as well as the hidden beauty in an otherwise dreary shot.

Up until now, I’ve done almost everything on my phone, photo editing included.  Earlier this week, I made the startling discovery that the watermark app I had been using was lowering the resolution of my shots almost 4x.  I have these images available for personal use (if anyone actually likes them) in the Photo Gallery page on my blog.  While the original resolution isn’t the greatest, I still want to provide the best quality that I can.  Period.  So in the coming days/weeks, I will be re-uploading my photos at their original quality, to their respective posts and the Photo Gallery page.  As for the watermark, I will no longer be using an app, but instead apply my own handwriting using GIMP (thank goodness for freeware!) to these and all future photos for a more personalized touch!

In time I would like to expand my blog and eventually get my own domain name, not to mention publish better content.  My stuff isn’t exactly the greatest, so I’ll have room to improve.  That will come later though.  For now, I would like to sincerely thank everyone who’s supported me thus far.  I don’t have a large audience which is fine, but I do appreciate anyone and everyone who’s taken the time to read the things I’ve posted, and those who have offered encouraging words.

Thank you very much!

N

Mourning Dew

The glistening beads of water slide down the leaves, gently caressing them as they slowly well up at the tip before falling to the ground below.  Scattered across the landscape on every tree, and on each blade of grass, the tiny droplets of water feel the warmth of the morning sun as its light embraces all it touches.  The chill in the air lingers for a while before it slowly fades away like an old memory that’s endured the strain of time, leaving only echoes of the night behind.

A night that silently wept for the day that was, as tears fell upon the breeze unseen, before condensing on the surface of the land below.  A night that mourned for the day that shall never come again, as a new dawn does not bring about the same day as before, but births a new day like that of an infant child who’s just entered the world.  Yet, for a new day to come, the old must end. And with that end, there is but just a small piece of all living things that is taken from them, as life is not immune to the hands of time.

The morning sun’s heat finally diminishes the dew, scattering the particles into the air where they await the night, to be wept again.  For who shall mourn the day that was, if not the night?

 

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Author’s Note:

It’s been a while since I’ve posted, again.  Things have been…. stressful lately.  With financial issues among other things, posting has been at the back of my mind.  But the words have not.  I usually post a new picture with my pieces, but at this time I don’t have one to go with this yet.  I know what I want to capture, but with everything on my mind I haven’t done so yet.  For now, my default will have to do.

I hope you enjoyed the piece above.

Thanks for reading,

N

Remember Me

Will you remember my name when I’m gone?

Or is it just out of reach from the tip of your tongue?

Like a dream that was dreamt many nights ago,

All but forgotten when you try to recall.

 

Will you remember my face as it was?

From a time before torment and pain took its just cause.

When every smile was genuine and true,

And our eyes saw clear without a hint of doubt.

 

Will you remember the sound of my voice?

Clear as still water, before it was lost in the noise.

A whisper in your ear when you fell down,

That gave you the strength to rise up yet again.

 

Will you remember my tender embrace?

When in my arms together the darkness we’d displace.

As your fears would retreat and cease to be,

Like the dark from the light that a new dawn brings.

 

Will you remember me when I am gone?

Or have I faded away as it’s been far too long?

Like a footprint in the sand that’s washed away,

All that remains are the echoes of what was.

 

And they too shall fade away.

 

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Author’s Note:

Well, it’s been some time since I published anything here on WordPress.  It feels good to finally put up another piece.  Things have been a bit a bit turbulent for me, and I haven’t put in the time to write as much or post for that matter.  I’m still around though.  Normally I’d have thoughts or elaborate a bit on the above writing here in this “Author’s Note” part, but I might try something new.  Until then, what do you think?

N

Waiting

Waiting for the day that won’t come

Waiting for the light of a dead sun

Waiting for the warmth of your cold embrace

Hold me tight so I can’t see your face

And

Don’t let go

 

Waiting for a moment that doesn’t exist

Waiting for the sands of time to desist

From falling ever on into eternity

Lost in the peaceful bliss of misery

Please

Don’t let go

 

Waiting for the sweet sound of your silent voice

To tell me that I have no other choice

I’m no master of this fantasy

And I have no place in reality

I’ve lost all control

Don’t let me go

 

Waiting for you to tell me it’s alright

To let me know I can sleep tonight

Waiting for you to tear me apart

Devour my hope and silence my heart

And still I wait

I won’t let go

 

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Author’s Note:

There’s not much to say today.